Tips for travelling with children

I have been meaning to do this pretty much since day one but feared scaring off the childless audience... with few blogs left if any it had to be done! I also spent last night chatting to Emmy and Patrick - parents of a 14month old - and trying to encourage them (they didn't need much) to take the plunge.

The subject is a funny one - as we talked last night they mentioned friends of theirs who haven't left the UK since the birth of their 2 children... and I do have several friends who I love dearly - but will remain nameless - who think we are seriously insane for undertaking such an adventure.

But my overall, biggest, top, star, number one tip is DO IT!

yes there were awful moments as anyone who has read the blog knows - and yes there were every day intense challenges - but when I really think about it all I can think is 'why wouldn't you do it'. If you are fortunate enough to have time and money then go for it.

We have spent the last 3 months 24 hrs a day with our lovely 3 year old boy - seeing the world through his eyes, the world seeing us as a 3 and I know it has made him more confident, more sensitive...

anyhow onto tips

equipment:
babies are nowadays - like so much in modern life - an excuse to shop. I was pretty wary of buying crap that we didnt need for the trip... but handed over the job of stuff buyer to Matty who rather excelled at it.

Things we took:

Nomad Travel Bed (0-4) tent like structure with built in mossie nets, self inflating matress, weighs 2.5kg and fitted in our rucksack. Believe the instruction video - you can put it together in 5 mins! Altho Tobes grew out of it for the final month he used it for about half the time and it was a great home from home for him - he had practiced with it in the UK. It was familiar, clean and I could zip him up in it secure in the knowledge that no mossies and Probably not any other creepy crawlies could get in. Worth it's weight in gold in mossie infested areas. Also saves money as most hotels charge anything from £2 - £10 for an extra mattress.

Portable DVD player Matty had bought this second hand off a friend. I hated the idea of taking it. But we also took Postman Pat dvds, Thomas, Pooh Bear counting and then picked up some films for him and us in thailand. It was great as a time out for him from hectic cities, at the end of mad busy sightseeing days... a time filler on the big airflights out and back. We didn't use it on general public transport - would have been a bit much. Also bonus / bad parenting - on the occasions we were shattered and unable to get out of bed at 6/7am we did stick him infront of a film in our beds while we dozed!

IPOD and headphones + audio books Matty put Winnie the Pooh, Thomas stories, Mr Men all onto the Ipod before we left! We used this on the long 8-20 hr train journeys particularly - as a time filler and a calming tool. It was especially brillant for bedtime stories on the overnight trains - he would listen to an hour of it then we would turn it off, close our curtains round the bed and try and make it like as normal a bedtime as poss - seemed to work overall!

Ergo Backpack We originally planned to take no pram just this! I've had it since he was 6 months - he now weighs nearly 2.5 stone and I can still just about carry him in the back sling. I love this sling. It was fantastic - to put him in at manically busy airports/ train stations where we just couldn't risk him running round - we could then just focus on baggage and transport. We then also used it when we were hiking - when his legs gave in or the ground just was too tough for him, we used it on long days out when he was exhausted - he would sleep on my back with a sarong securing his head to my shoulders... in Varanasi it allowed us 2 long peaceful walks along the gats. I think he's just about getting too big for it now but I still love it!

Pram We ended up buying this our first week in thailand realising quickly it was the key to nights out! This was what we used it most for. We would put him to bed,wait till he was heavily asleep - then smother him in organic (!) mossie repellant, transfer him to pram and then head out for dinner - sleeping Tobes next to us at the table! It was fantastic and he only woke up once. After a few times I told him in the day that we were doing it - so occasionally he would flicker open an eyelid and then seemed to get what we were up to and be ok - as long as he was comfortable and safe. TIPS - buy a strong metal framed pram. M bought the cheapest one he could find in Tesco in bangkok and it broke on its way from supermarket to meet me! Also try and bring a mossie net that fits a pram too - nice extra security. NB Pram worked best in Thailand. India with its crumbling pavements was not great - esp in cities - altho we did do well in Kerala and Goa with it!

Washable nappies Toby was out of day nappies but still needs them for nightime. Many places we travelled to didn't have nappies so we would have been stuffed without these. They were great - dried quickly in the sun - and BIG bonus - you aren't adding to the imense litter problems in these beautiful places.

toys
we took 6 thomas trains, 4 tiny animals, 4 dinky cars, a small amount of mobilo ( a kind of junior lego) - enough for him to build a v.small plane/ boat, one puzzle, crayons, playdough... then about 8 books!
We had more than anyone else we met travelling with kids. But we lost some, replaced lots (don't forget that you can get toys anywhere - kids don't understand quality - one of Tobes favourite was a paper train I had saved after being given it free by network rail in the UK!!!), and towards the end gave a lot away. we also bought more books while we were travelling as we love reading to him and we were all getting a bit bored.
The toys were great for him. Whenever we reached a new room we would get them out first and give him his own little area for them.
He created imaginary worlds for them in rooms, on beaches, on lawns, on boats, trains... he told constant stories, drove them over us while we slept, shared them beautifully... Didn't really mind too much when he lost one - he realised he had more than most children we saw - esp street children -= and would hope they would be found by one of the children who had none or few. He coined the phrase - "home is where my cars are"

medicine
we had a lot and I would not have cut this down in anyway! Inevitably the first thing I needed was the one thing I had kept meaning to get and had forgotten - tweezers - he got a leaf stuck in his ear!!

But I would list these as vital:

-Calpol - infant paracetamol (I don't think ibuprofen is good for stomach ache - so make sure you do have just the plain paracetamol)
-rehydration salts: they did great ones in India that you just mixed with a litre bottle of water and sipped all day - orange tasting which toto preferred to diorahlyte - he called it his medicine drink. this was pretty much all that we treated the squits with. I am a firm believer of "better out than in" when it comes to squits!
- antiseptic wipes: bad for the environment but vital for every day first aid on the move I am afraid.
- plasters
- iodine antiseptic ointment - dries fast, you can see it clearly - good instead of the creams you get in the UK and v.cheap in asia
- ARNICA - cream and tablets - I love this stuff.
- Medised - paracetamol with a slight sedative effect - we didn't use this a lot - but it was v. good on a v.delayed overnight train where he got hyper and just couldn't calm down to rest.

i had a big first aid kit with antibiotics, needles, bandages, calamine, antihistimine (v.worthwhile just in case of nasty reaction to bites) etc. Then I took a smaller purse out with us each day!

Food
I will not pretend this was easy. We took enough vitamins to see us thro the whole trip - and this was a nice fall back! Someone also recommended giving kids up to 5 ... or older I suppose ... formula milk as again then you just know they are getting vits and minerals. We couldn't really find this so didn't - but it sounds like a good idea just for reassurance.

Tobes did not like spicy food and this did not change. He also didn't really like noodles. But he did like rice, eggs, cucumber, tomato, pineapple, bananas, bread, pasta, chips!!! And for 3 days he liked veg fried rice! Of and he did discover tomato soup in our last month in India.

We found a lot of places did porrige of varying quality - we would try and always start him off with this... supplemented at times with fruit salad, eggy bread, pancakes. Then we relied on a lot of plain rice, egg and chips, and then would dive into anywhere with Pasta if poss to fill him up.

There were good moments - he did once tuck into a thali - southIndian buffet and enjoyed the pappadums, yogurt etc.. But it could be difficult.

We also stocked up whereever poss on snacks - bananas, raisins, nuts, bread
TIP - take a knife and make your own fruit and veg snacks.

TIP - feed small amounts and often - as anyone with a kid knows - a hungry child is 100 X harder to deal with. There were days when he just ate bananas - as many as 10!

Sightseeing
STORIES - Make an effort to bring the place alive for them. We told Toby the stories behind the places we were visiting - albeit often very edited - and yes they did elicit endless "WHY Mummy, But Why"... but they also gave hima chance to really enjoy them.

He played soldiers (I had a long internal debate about telling him about war/ violence - decided I had to when it came to forts etc), Matty and I were held prisoner in small rooms in moghul forts/ tombs, he imagined the sounds of canons, he pretended to have a shop in old cities, he hunted for tigers, elephants, pretended he had lived in castles (either that or was reincarnated from some very wealthy maharajas). Our last night in the desert on a camel trek Toby and i wandered out into the dark dunes and pretended we had been travelling for weeks without food and water and had stumbled apon our camp. He was truly delighted and his own story telling is now extensive!

JOY RIDING We did feel it was worth letting him have the joy ride whereever possible - that did mean - the tired horse up a hill in ooty, or a ten minute camel bump about in Mysore... it was such a treat for him at the time

Animals win again and again and on a similar vein - really anything with animals is a bonus - from tame-ish squirrels in a moghul tomb to imagining the long dead elephants that inhabited ruined elephant stables in an ancient city. And of course safaris, elephant riding, bathing etc!

Missing home
Toby missed his friends more than we ever anticipated. TIP we took 2 tiny photo albums/ flick books for him with pictures of top friends and family so he wouldn't forget faces and could remember times with them. He didn't look at them that much but when he did he really enjoyed it and I think it helped a 3 year old remember what home was too!

Routines
We didn't have a strict routine of times of the day - but instead we kept up a bed time routine what ever time it was and pretty much where ever we were - of bath, PJs (we took one pair), story and then sleep. Then our other main thing was just keeping to meal times and being quite strict on table manners. We did try to give him 4/7 earlyish (8pm) nights a week... too many late ones and we all suffered.

TIP - but obviously read your child and yourself... we think you can push them etc and do a lot at times - but equally don't ignore signs of tiredness and under the weatherness - stop and rest. Easier said than done - don't do the big walk - take a taxi etc!

Customs
Find out yourself and then explain these as much as poss to your child. Clearly not all customs but the ones that will effect them. For us one of the ones that effected T most was cheek pinching which a lot of Thai and Indian people do to children. Toby hated it. We also learnt to be firmer and say No/ Don't do that to people.

Bonus
We found the trip a great time to break habits - we certainly didn't think this would be the case. But Toby decided to give up his dummy one night in thailand and never picked it up again. he also gave up his favourite blanket which we had dutifully travelled with etc

Clothes We packed 2 pairs of trousers (both could be rolled up into shorts), 2 pairs of shorts, 3 t shirts, one thin sweatshirt, one long sleeved shirt, one pack-a-mac, one sweatshirt jacket, one pair of velcro sandal, one pair of leather shoes, 2 pairs of socks, 5 pairs of pants, 2 washable nappies, 2 sun proof swim suits. It worked well. We added to it 2 kurtas in India - long sleeve long shirts which were great!

Poverty
we saw a lot of this and Toby definately noticed it. We talked a lot about children living on the streets, needing money.

to be continued....

back to blue skies in Britain

We are back! First and foremost - congratulations to Laura and Kevin on the birth of Alexander Vaughn our last night in India! WOW - we can't wait to meet him. Apologies not for calling really anyone - bear with us as we slowly speed up to normal life again.



For one of the first times in my life I landed in a UK not to be met with grey skies and gloom - but instead clear sparkling blue skies, an intense cool sun and alarmingly early snowdrops and blossom! Beautiful! I do not feel I can discuss climate change that much in this blog given my guilty recent carbon contributions.



First impressions to our tired eyes... England is so clean and ordered and less brightly coloured. And Toto is ignored! Of course it is all very familiar. We are back in my family Oxford home and it is lovely and cosy and comfortable - we can eat everything, drink the tap water, the sheets are clean, we can wash all our grimy clothes. We stare with aching eyes at the bags and boxes packed up before we left and endeavour to remember where we put socks and jeans and warm things.



Despite India being 5 hrs ahead I stay up to 11.30 with Mum and Dad and Olly and Celine bubbling over with excitement at the chance of being able to chat to family and share our stories. The next day Tobes is bubbling with excitement at being back! He wolfs down cheerios and toast with jam and is over the moon at discovering some of his old toys.



And so our first 2 days back in the UK have continued. M has spent hours downloading and sorting our 1500 photos!!!! Check out the photo link to this to see. We all have jet lag - Tobes waking at 3am not being able to get back to sleep is not great - poor thing. Although shattered Toby is relishing seeing everyone, loving cycling, loving the comfort and ease of life here - loving being given food which he recognises and wants to eat! (perhaps giving children food they really don't like/ can't eat could be a cure for a fussy eater - I fear not and that this will be short lived).



I do feel different. Family keep asking what it feels like to be back... I don't feel that we are back really yet! I still don't really know what day of the week it is... I still don't really have a great deal to do!! I don't have a house to organise, to clean, a job to do, a life to juggle ... the thought of this (I try not to think about it) bewilders me. Our home is rented out until 15th March and so our return to normality will be staggered... matty back to work next week, then Tobes starting preschool, then me back to work, then back into the house.

I will really miss our nomadic existence - I look at our boxes of stuff and wonder what we will possibly do with it all. Although knowing where my pants are each morning will be good - better still having more than 3 pairs!

We have come back full of resolutions from a determination to experiment cooking the new foods we have loved, to the whetted appetite of knowing we want to see and explore so much more (altho it will be UK based for a while). I want this feeling of calmness, of peace, of not juggling my life to stay somehow.

from the ridiculous to the sublime!

I had to write tonight - our last night of nights - but due to our expensive last night hotel treat the costs for internet are extortionate and I am about to run out of time!!!

We cannot believe our adventure is nearly over. We spent our first night in Mumbai in a windowless cockroach filled room above the famous Leopolds Bar (famous as one of the oldest bars in Mumbai and also as a key location in the amazing book Shantaram)- I insisted we do this as a condition to matty who then wanted to move to an expensive hotel!

Now we are in a weird but very comfortable and very pricy - it hurts - bubble of the Leela hotel - which sadly we failed to realise was on the edge of town. It is lovely but it is not India.

We have come to really love India and understand it just a little - I plan to bore this blog with details of this later - but needless to say it is not an easy country! But it has given us some of the biggest adventures of our lives - and we are so proud to have done this - to quote M earlier - with me the workaholic, him the homeaholic and above all with the energetic Tobes! - T promised earlier to stop being a rascal - I asked instead if I could have lots of good t but still a bit of rascal T - he also then said he wanted to stay forever and ever here.

Anyhow - back to loving India. It is the most honest place I have been to. Here you see the poverty - you see the rubbish - you see people's emotions - I think you see more than anywhere else I have been

Neither of us like this bubble - we like the bath and the swimming pool and being clean - my god you should have seen us after we got here.

I said to the porter - by way of some excuse - "we have been travelling for a long time" and he looked at me and said "i can see madam!"

The other night on the safari a Korean lady said the same thing - she said youlook like you have been in India a while... so goodness knows what we must look like

We were very excited about coming to Mumbai - the home of Ahaan's mummy Poornima, key location in the book we both loved - Shantaram, a buzzy city we had heard so much about! Our first night we leave our luggage in left luggage and so make it 8 days for our dusty set of Rajastan clothes ... but thank gxd as our room is tiny and yukky. After Leopolds we wander down to the deco Marine Drive and walk for 2 hours in the dark to Chowpatty beach - Toby pretending to be a car running madly - us musing and marvelling at the Mumbai skyline. It is a great last-ish night. Chowpatty beach is like a mad small funfare and Toby zooms around in a mini jeep - they looked like they were battery powered but the battery turned out to be a young guy who ran behind pushing him. We sleep badly 3 in the tiny bed - and leap out early - step over the staff sleeping in the corridor and head for the gateway to India. It seems apt that one of our last 'sites' is this symbol of Europe's arrival in India... Tobes is more impressed by the cement mixer next to it!

Then we head out of the centre of Mumbai to our 5 star bubble - reluctantly leaving behind the more real india and stopping to marvel at the Laundry Matty's Mum had told us to visit - an amazing place where most of the city's hotels have their laundry is done - a walled city of stone outdoor wash tubs with men thrashing wet sheets, shirts, skirts and then hanging them in colour order like pencils in a box, different shades of white, green, blue ....

Our last full day is spent on a shopping mission looking for last minute pressies in a fairtrade shop then looking for Anokhi - which we finally find and is closed... hot and dusty we gratefully return to the ice cold hotel pool and bath tub.

anyhow - I hope you will all see soon. Must dash as my most expensive internet experience is about to run out. We love you all and can't wait to see you - thank you for all your encouragement, help, M&D having buzz , etc etc and onwards for more adventures

Blogging from the past - planes, trains and autorickshaws

We haven't blogged for ages due to a combination of mad timetables and then erratic electricity connections in Rajastan. It's our last night away as I attach this belated bit of the blog....but imagine us 4 nights ago....


I write from inside the walls of Jaisalmer Fort - with Jamin our host at Ganesh Homestay watching a Hindi Cartoon network cartoon / cricket(now Discovery channel - very distracting) beside me as the rest of the family sit around a fire in a bowl outside! We have had a hell of a day! We set of from Jodpur at 5.30am for our 6.30 train - only then to wait for 3 hours for the Delhi Express to arrive!! Fortunately for us we discovered a waiting room for 2nd class passengers that was heated - the rest of the passengers were camped on the floor outside in the cold covered by various blankets! At 9 our train finally arrived and we had found an omlette man on the platform- thank gXd as it turned out to be our last proper food all day until we arrived and then got out to eat at 6. The travelling caught up with Tobes today and we pretty much had tantrums the entire 6 hour journey as he refused to eat and then demanded cake constantly (clearly this he has inherited from me - kate). Of course he fell asleep 5 mins before we arrived. So our journey through the desert was less appreciated than it might have been! I tell you this to show the highs and lows of our adventure - particularly this week!

Despite hellish train journeys (only one 15-20 hour one left!!) We are so so pleased to be doing this last mad dash of a week. It keeps us from thinking about returning and counting down so much... and it is more than we dreamt it would be. We spent saturday exploring Jaipur with a great young rickshaw driver called ally - The Amber fort - our first Rajastani fort was awesome - we climbed up the golden dusty steps accompanied by painted elephants kicking up the sand then we explored the maze of corridors and palace rooms. Toby loves these places and runs pretending to be kings and soldiers around the ramparts. We stopped at a water palace then feasted on veggy thalis in a cafe beside the road... then another climb upto a monkey temple where the most cocky monkeys took turns to either dismiss our nuts or try to steal the whole bag, then another climb up to Naragh Fort which sits above the city. It is a 2 km walk up windy steep paths - we are exhausted by the time we get there we are shattered but it is worth the pain we gaze breathless at the views and then explore a maharaja's palace complete with 9 apartments for all his wives - influenced by europe so strangely looking a little Italian in places with shutters, fireplaces etc. Then we ran down the hill - Toby complete with kite that a man had given him! At the bottom Matty dared another shave - complete with dash of old spice !! The following day we went to the most amazing observatory with the largest sundial in the world - about 2 stories high... a sureal display of marble instruments for telling the time and star signs looking a little like a Dali picture!

Our train ride to Jodphur was ok! We sort of got lucky and shared the train section with 2 families with 2 three year old boys... all of whom (Toby included) slept for 2 hrs. But our 5 hr train journey in the afternoon, like so many here, turned into 7 and the boys grew crazier and crazier together... one of the mothers was a crazy mix of very maternal and educational/ crazy - pretending to shoot and punch them. By the end of the journey the whole carriage was going stir crazy and all our indian fellow passangers took to making origami planes, boats, boxes, guns etc out of newspapers... this is clearly an Indian skill we hadn't heard of!

We were dead on our feet but our ride to our hotel was so exhilerating that we soon came back to life! As we drove deep into the blue city the lanes got narrower and narrower, overshadowed by crumbling balconies, intricate stone lace work, ... passing healthy cows defiantly standing in the way and forcing the rickshaw to dodge them. we then ran into a band, and then not one but 2 crazy weddings... leaving us stuck in a rickshaw traffic jam with jaws open. Above us an enormous golden fort and ramparts loomed, and the houses got bluer. We had got seriously lucky with our hotel - through a tiny wooden doorway and up 4 flights of steep stone stairs, onto a roof terrace above the blue city up a further flight of ourdoor stairs to the very top of the house we had a bejewelled pink room with 10 windows framed by painted flowers each overlooking the fort and the city. Toby had the best bed yet, an alcove hung with sari curtains! And hot water - all for about 15 pounds! My highlight was waking up - turning around in bed and realising the window behind us framed the most stunning view of the blue box city!

One day in Jodphur is not enough - but just enough to explore another amazing fort complete with palm prints of 16 (I think) queens who committed suicide jumping into the fire of the early dead king - for us to see a wall in which a man volunteered to be and was buried alive in order to rid the city of the curse of no water - for Matty to have a hilariously inaccurate palm reading - for me to explore the amazing markets leaving with my prize purchase being a pink and blue rolling pin!!!! but really a highlight was sitting on our roof dazzled by the site of the indigo blue box city, listening to voices of life echo up around us and watching people hanging out their washing chatting and drinking tea. i did not want to leave...

but here we are now in one of the most westerly parts of India - in a city we really wanted to see from the start! Jaisalmer is like a fairy tale sand castle on a giant beach of desert that spreads to the horizons from every angle I've seen so far. Inside it is a maze of tiny golden sandy streets... the cows are the friendliest we have encountered and you have to squeeze past their lovely soft full bellies - Tobes and I can't resist stroking them each time - matty has not yet recovered from his encounter in Jaipur to have this confidence yet!

(NB - I am now writing this from our last night - so from recollection!!)

The people in Jaisalmer are lovely - yes of course trying to persuade you to shop/ buy - as always - but lovely and chatty. We eat at tiny roof top tables on grubby but gorgeous sari covered cushions overlooking the ramparts and then just endless scrubland desert. Our first morning we head out in search of breakfast as ususal but find out that the forts laid back nature extends to breakfast... at 9am we still find no where substantial open (i.e. more than chai shops) - we keep sitting down and being ignored while the men spend ages preening themselves having just got up from their beds on the floor. Finally we stumbleinto a tiny cafe run by Lucky Fatan - a young guy with the most amazing blue eyes that look like a desert - sand and sky. Highlight of this visit being our request for a napkin for tobes - at which point Fatan looks crestfallen and says he has forgotten them and offers up the scarf from round his neck!!!! We weren't sure what was worse - the thought of wipping toby's porrige and snot up with the sweaty scarf or Fatan then putting it back on afterwards and carrying on cooking... hygiene is not a strong point here - I might have mentioned this before!

Later that day we head off for our camel safari! It is cold here and so we have opted for half a day rather than overnight. We drive an hour into the desert stopping at 2 villages. T is on top form and has finally realised that if he shakes hands he doesn't get pinched. He takes up this new tactic with the 30 or so children who appear and then starts a crazy hysterical game of chase... ending up inside the welcoming arms and house of one of the mothers. Aside from wondering whether he is a girl or boy everyone in the villages seems delighted!

Tobes and I share a camel and head off bundled up against the elements. M on a more excitable one!The scrubland becomes dunes - and then suddenly matty and another girl - Lesley - zoom off on their camels into the distance!! We are attached to another camel with another lovely canadian on it - her 7 year old driver climbs onto the back of her camel and then we are alone... in the dunes just Tobes in front - age 3 steering - seriously!

The dunes are amazing - the sun comes down and we end up round a camp fire - singing.... Alongside the 2 canadian girls we are also accompanied by Maria a Taiwanese woman who earlier had complained that the desert had trees in it and this was not what she expected. She is in India for the first time and, having nearly died of food poisening in Egypt a few years back, she has brought food with her for her entire trip... so as the two guys prepare our whole meal - of dhaal, veg curry, freshly made bread, rice and poppas - from scratch, Maria interrupts to ask them to cook her taiwanese pot noodle on one of the two twig fires - using her bottled evian!

After eating we tell stories - dominated by maria's story 50min long story of how she almost died after falling of a horse in Kashmir (very longwinded - the guys keep giggling ) and the guys sing Rajastani love songs which all feature the partitian of Pakistan! One of the guys grandfathers family is all stuck over the border and they cannot visit him.

This is really our last night of adventure - after tonight we have an overnight train journey back to Jaipur then 3 nights in mumbai. What a night and I cannot believe it when standing in the pitch dark - feet sinking into the dune I spot a shooting star!

M,T and I lie backs on the sand snuggled up staring up at the stars, joining them up to make shapes and - excuse me atheists ... thanking god for this amazing adventure. Real darkness is absorbing - it really feels like it gets into your clothes, you loose sense of perspectives... I have to dare myself to make the most of this and really wander in the dunes a little alone - just keeping an eye on the campfire in the increasing distance. It is the type of darkness where you start to hear your heart beating - faster and faster.

Our peaceful evening is brought to an abrupt end as the dog, which as accompanied us along the trail, starts barking at something we cannot see! and then fighting with it... SCARY! Then Maria the mad taiwanese woman suddenly mentions she has a train to catch.

So we jump in the jeep castle bound, tucked up under blankets, tarpaulin. One of the camel guys hops on his camel and shoots off into the dark distance. We drive home across the desert plains spotting desert deer in headlights! and then rabbits before crawling up the ramparts to our room.

Our last day here is sad - again we could have stayed so so much longer. After just 2 nights here we know so many familiar faces and the names of people in the fort. There are not many foreign children here and Toby is our USP. I have sat chatting to parents living in the fort whilst Toby plays with the kids on the old watering holes inside the fort.

We buy leather belts, hats and bags from a lovely guy called Monarch who takes to Toby. He tells us his mother always used to say the naughty children always do best in life - are the most intelligent! I like Monarch a lot ... As I watch Toby pretending to be a shop keeper in the tiny shop in the old town and then darting off into the neighbours shops. Monarch also says his big head is good - I like Monarch a lot more than the Thai man who told us T's hair was too thin and his forehead too big!

After our last lunch we catch an afternoon and then overnight train back to Jaipur - our last overnight train! Hooray! It is ok and we arrive in at 5am - I am grateful for M's insistence that we book a hotel room. We crash into bed shattered and wake up - our last morning in Rajastan - to open our balcony door and chat to a girl getting ready for school on the rooftop opposite us - brushing and oiling her thick glossy hair... and to spot our last monkeys stealing a garland of flowers and playing chase across the balconies. Then we begin the journey home!

Back On The Road

This morning we set off on the road again after what feels like an incredibly relaxing 2 weeks. Travelling through Kerala only involved short distances for us and then a 7 day stop in Varkala after which we flew to Chennai to visit harriet for an incredibly chilled three days but today we began moving again in a big way !

Before getting onto that though ... the last few days. As I said we flew to Chennai where coming out of the airport nearly moved Kate and I to tears !!! Anyone who has travelled in India will know how unpleasant the scrum of Taxis, Rickshaw Drivers, Porters and Touts that swarm around you as you exit any airport or railway station is ... especially when you actually need them but just want two minutes to catch your breath and decide in peace ... so the joy we felt on coming out to see a handmade, colourful sign with all three of our names on held by the driver Harriet had sent to pick us up for our 3 hr drive to her house was ridiculous !

On arriving at her 'pink palace' near the foot of the spiritual mecca that is the mountain Arunachala we were soooopleased to see a friendly face and spent a really lovely three days just relaxing in the most stunning setting. Best of all we got to put down our 'lonely planet' and let Harriet tell us where to go and when and her recommendations were spot on.My highlight was a temple whose name I can't remember (embarassed smiley) that was only small but housed the most stunning, 12ft plus brightly coloured statues that blew me away. If any of you ever end up in Tiruvanammalai and haven't got Harriets details (those of you who kow her obviously otherwise that would be a bit weird !) just stop any rickshaw and ask them to take you to "Harriets House" .. it really works - and seems to be a tactic employed by many travellers as while we were there scores of people from all over the world continued to pop over unannounced to hang out.

But with only 10 days left staying longer wasn't an option so at 00:30 this morning we got taken back to chennai for the 05:30 flight to Mumbai where we crossed the city to the international airport to leave our luggage before heading back to the domestic airport with just two small rucksacks to catch the afternoon flight to Rajasthan and our first stop there Jaipur. Leaving our backs behind felt incredibly liberating although I did go back to collect my memory cards and discs of photos as I decided they were the one thing that I could never replace if lost.

Jaipur is stunning and our guesthouse great ... it even has a bath although we arrived to late to do any serious exploring .... and embarassingly after travelling for so long and with most restaurants not opening until 7pm we did fall into McDonalds to feed Toby and Ourselves before an early night.

Ironically Rajasthan had been the one state we were desperate to see before coming here and it looked like we wouldn't manage, and Jaisalmer which is said to be Indias picture perfect Desert Fort town was number one on our list of destinations and now it looks like we will effectively finish in Rajasthan with an overnight camel trek in Jaisalmer being the last stop before flying back to Bombay for two days before flying home - it couldn't have worked out better (he says having not yet endured the travelling).

The next few days are daunting though ... following todays marathon journey we spend tomorrow in Jaipur, get the 7 hr train to Jodphur Sunday and at 06:00 wednesday the train to jaisalmer before an overnight trek in the desert, a 14 hr overnight train back to Jaipur arriving at 05:00 and a flight to Bombay. oprtunately for the first time all trip all of our trains are booked (bar one) as are our flights and hotels just bombay left to arange) so most of the hassle is gone and we can just enjoy.

I feel really exhilarated by finally getting here but also I think by the knowledege that we are on the last stretch. Toby is starting to get fed up and ask to go home and has started developing quite regular night frights ... which we are told are a result of being unsettled .. no surprise there and travelling with a toddler requires huge patience which isn't always in great suppl when travelling accross a country as vast and challenging as India.

Looking forward to seeing you all soon and as always reaaaaaaaaly love hearing from you all

M

x

The Boy Got Moves

ok ... I thought I had already had my proudest father moment this holiday when Toby finally cracked the whole goalkeeper / attacker thing and we spent a beautiful morning on the perfectly manicured 5-a-side pitch at the cochin club taking it in turns to score against each other but yesterday topped even that.

seing a beautiful three year old girl crying at the table next to us at lunch Toby asked if he could get down (loving those manners !!) picked up his toy cow, sidled over and gave it to her with a cheeky smile. She stopped crying and he continued to woo her with a procession of toys ... a taxi, a lion, thomas the tank engine and the imaginatively named 'blue car' before cooly returning to his seat knowing he was in !!

Sure enough 5 minutes later she wandered over to see him and .. I kid you not .. as Chris Isaak started playing Wicked Game he looked her dead in the eye and asked if she wanted to dance !!! Chachi Eden eat your heart out !!! He may have pushed his luck a little too far when 5 minutes later he looked her in the eye again and said earnestly 'can i kiss you?' but no serious damage was done because they have been inseparable ever since !!

Onto other matters ... first of all the accusation that i have taken the virus we all have worst is particularly hurtful given that only two days ago i was rewarded with one of tobys special 'bravery award' stickers from his first aid kid as proof of how well I was doing but it is true that i have suffered !! The last four days I have only really managed a few pieces of toast and the odd drink but actually after last nights dinner that may not be so bad.

Kate .. feeling delicate ... just ordered a cheese and tomato toasted sandwich ... how wrong can you go?? well let me explain ...

what arrived was two pieces of toast and a small pot of jam and butter. Upon explaining that we had asked for cheese and tomato the waiter seriously tried to convince me that the butter was cheese and the jam was tomato .. really ... I'm not lying !!! After finally accepting that it may in fact be Jam and butter he muttered the immortal words ... "dont worry ... give me the toast and i'll take it in the kitchen .. i've got cheese and tomato spread there and i'll put some on for you" ????????????????

in fairness though I'm not surprised .. our hotel - proudly announcing 24 hour room service told me yesterday at 21:45 that the kitchen was closed for the night, and even told me that I couldn't get an extra towel after 6pm ?? Shouldnt really complain for about a tenner a night on the beach though and they are very sweet.

Other than that Varkala is quite nice without being spectacular .. a smallish beach and a stretch of similar beach shack restaurants on the clifftop make up the majority of the action here but there are also some beautiful deserted beaches. After a few days stomach ache and sleepless nights though I'm pretty weary and finding it hard to appreciate .. which I know I'll regret when back in my office in a couple of weeks.

only a few weeks left now and as we approach the end home is really beginning to appeal but am determined not to waste this time ... although for all the joy travelling with an egocentric three year old can be really draining and I think we are both finding it harder work sometimes than we did at the beginning. As most of you are reading this in freezing temperatures and at work I wont expect sympathy but look forward to seeing you all soon

M

x

p.s. More Epstein Spam !!! Huuuuuge shout out to Oli and the boys for following up their four star review in Rolling Stone Magazine with an appearance as Album of the Week on Huw Stephens - In New Music We Trust show on Radio 1 no less. For those who know nothing about this (like me) his job is to break new music to Radio 1 so fingers crossed for some more airtime !!

Blissed out

Hello! I have to say a little more than Matty on Fort Cochin. It was a beautiful place - full of old churches and Portuguese old colonial houses... including the most stunning one set just off the beach that looked like it would collapse at any moment.. we looked for signs of an owner to offer to buy it from having brief dreams of setting up a boutique hotel in it! Our amazing living quarters openened out to the low sea wall and then the sea so that after breakfast we could just open the doors and watch the sea life pass - big tankers (actually quite magnigficant) to small 1 man canoes... and to the right the great fishing nets Cochin is famous for were billowing out from the sea walk... needing 4 men to lower them! One afternoon walking along the front we came across a fish auction!! At first we didn't realise what it was and then we realised that about 40 men were arguing over the price of 4 great big squids sprawling and still quivering on the pavement! Tobes as usual loved the walk and ran headlong along the path until it jutted out into the ocean! We feasted on tikka fish and lime sodas and haggled over this and that! And Tobes decided that he was now big enough for spicy food!!! HOORAY Well Spicy Mice - aka fried rice which he started eating with gusto - all parents will be able to empathise with how thrilled M and I were watching him tuck into a big bowl accompanied by fresh pineapple juice - particularly given the food drought he's been on - really just eating rice and bread! M managed to have his second big row in India - and walk out of a restaurant nearly 2 hrs after we walked in after no food arriving - eventually we found out that they had gone to market to buy squid for his lunch but hadn't thought that we'd like to know - much better to tell us just to wait 5 min and another and another.... so so Indian! I was mortified until a guy joined us for our walk to another restaunt and told us that the previous one also had just lost it's chef...

We could have stayedx longer but the backwaters beakoned and so we headed for Alleppey - the backwater capital! Driving in style by white ambassador taxi - due to me having second bout of delhi belly and not thinking I could cope with a train! Tobes was thrilled and spent the whole drive in conversation with the car - who needs a stunning landscape etc when you're in a cool car! My stomach got worse and worse... eukkk and at 3am staying in our budget hotel - all cramped under putrid pink mossie net - Tobes revolving regularly just to make sure we didn't sleep - me hopping in and out of our outdoor toilet - killing mossies as I went (only comfort being a gorgeous silver round moon peeking out of the coconut tree above me) - well at 3am ater 10 or so loo stops and having lost all liquid from my body - drunk toby's cup of water and anything I could find - I am not ashamed to say that I wanted to go home and see my mummy!!!!!

But sun up and things always look better - we decided not to cancel our houseboat and go for it. We headed down to the jetty where there must have been maybe 40 boats all moored together - a long baking walk down the path later we came to our boat! Not the most plush (which had plasma screens and 2 stories) but gorgeous... the boats are made of woven bamboo (i think) curved ... so its a little like sailing on a barge base with a long french bread basket over your head. we were introduced to our crew: Cpt Thomas, Chef Joseph and Joe (who we didn't see much of) and then shown round... a front open deck shaded with seats and a table, our room with bed and bathroom and windows and then the kitchen and their tiny sleeping area (tourist guilt tourist guilt.....). I hate to gloat but it was perfect even as I lay cramped up! I lay back on the benches and watched the water world of Kerala ripple by.... there were not that many boats about I was relieved to see... and the pace of life on the backwaters is so peaceful!

Part of the deal on the boats is that you get all your meals - we weren't that excided about this but should have been --- they were gorgeous! First lunch moored up on a penninsula - we had a thali served on giant banana leaves... I had to eat despite being ill! It was some of the best food we've had here - I was gutted I couldn't eat more... beans in coconut, spicy marinated fish, .... and Tobes dug in with gusto - clearly eating with his hands was an advantage here for him! After lunch we set off again bobbing along the great lakes and down little water allyway... with a light breeze and then some freshly fried banana chips to help us along!! Sorry .... but I have to tell you!

Then onto the highlight... we docked for the night by rice paddys and took a smaller canoe to explore the smaller allyways... it was about 5.30 pm and Kerala's river villages were getting ready for the evening, a man was beheading, de-feeting and plucking a dead chicken in the river watched by an interested hen, much to Tobes enjoyement lots of children were having bathtime in the river being vigorously soaped down and dunked (we had to restrain Tobes from joining a group of 3 brothers grinning at him) emeral backed and sapphire tummied kingfishers perched on wires across the river diving across to catch fish or insects and m and repeatedly failed to photo them! Women rushed home with children on their hips stopping to wave at us and chat to friends... and all around us the evening light mellowed and mingled with smoke from fires.... It is funny - we are so lucky these days to see so much of the worlld on Tv and in photos but the downside is that when you see somethings in real life often they don't seem new... but this was so so so vivid and I kept pinching myself and touching the water to remind myself it was real.... so sorry if I am boring here!!

Back to the boat and bed for Tobes who had had a great day driving his cars and trains around the boat and I think relishing being in one place! Bed for tobes and a night out for us!!! We sat and watched the sun sink completely over the lake and then were served a feast!! Gutted tummy still bad!! ladies fingers, chicken curry, cabbage and carrot, more and more... bliss. Before lying on the deck and playing hide and seek with a moon and the clouds.

After a great sleep on the rocking boat were woke up and had to make the most of our time on the boat before our ride finished at 9am! Delicious toast and chai for us... cornflakes for Tobes which they watched him eat facinated as I had requested these (fearing he would eat nothing else if it was all too spicy etc). The morning was yet again magical... as the morning mist rose off the water the temple started reading Shanti chants out through loadspeakers dotted around the banks... a stunning voice singing chants of peace (I think) while people washed, a man was shaved in a waterfront barbers, children stared at Tobes and Tobes stared at them!...SO peaceful and we were so sad to leave!

Back to our loved cheap hotel run by a group of guys who doted on Tobes letting him ride a tuk tuk and motorbike with them round the compound... and then onto Varkala ... which is where we are now!

Not all bliss - Tobes and M of course then got the tummy bug so we've all been a little worse for wear and a bit homesick over the last few days - despite amazing sea views etc. T coped the best - just asking for rehydration salts/ tummy water when he felt bad! M of course (sorry m) got v grumpy... made worse but lovely but inept hotel people. But I think we are through the worse... please ... and I have to make the most of the seafood before we head off! We have 2 weeks left and I think have now decided that we can fit in a sprint to Rajastan and the desert ... in the name of making the most of this! We ruled out the himalays much to my disappointment as temperatures were -13 degrees and we feared our patagonia fleeces and Tobes 50p one from ooty may not be up to this! Gutted we didn't fit this in before but you can't do anything and another excuse for another adventure later.

Tonnes of love to you all - my yahoo has been out of order for a few days but I'll try and email soon. mum's and dad's can you print this all off for us at some point - Hel heard a programme on digital decay and I keep worying about loosing our diary!

Kate xxx

Living large

this is more like it ... my own personal butler !!!

well i say my own but I do have to share him with the two rooms either side which were occupied one of the three nights we are here but it'll do for now ... except that his call bell is next to the lightswitch and three times now i have pressed it by acident and he has come scurrying along in his white 'days of the raj' outfit to see what I needed and i had to blame Toby.

the reason for this sudden upturn in our fortunes is quite bizzarre. Three days ago at about 10:00 am after reading some decent reviews we booked a reasonable guesthouse .. the Forthouse in Kochin for two nights at about 30pounds a night. Two hours later they rang back to say they had made a mistake .. double-booked us and by way of apology had booked us into the owners private members club where they only have three rooms - and they are huge !!!!! - at the same rate instead of the clubs normal presumably exorbitant charges.

Seperate dressing room area plus dining room area, ceiling height of about 18 ft and a lovely butler called Adrian to take care of Laundry and whatever else you need in amazing style. we even cheekily asked to extend to three nights and didn't hear a murmur of complaint. There is even a beautiful outdoor five-a-side pitch where toby has had great fun, tennis courts, childrens playground etc. and right in the centre of Fort Cochin.

Fort Cochin itself is a lovely place with some great posh restaurants and the brilliantly named 'Jew town' around a gorgeous synagogue with some great shopping ! Tomorrow we head south to Alleppey to stay on a 24 hr houseboat in the backwaters of Kerala... so many people have told us it is THE number one experience in India so we are loking forard and then the plan looks something like down to Varkala for some time on the beach then accross to Chennai, pondicherry a quick visit to Harriet for a few days (are you reading this Harriet .. is that ok?? I'll ring you soon to arrange !!!) before flying out of Mumbai.

big shout out to a man like jez for being the first person to post three messages on here .. I love ya big guy !!! and loving hearing from you all on email but most cafes have slow connection so apologies for not replying more.

look forward to seeing you all soon

M

xx

p.s. Toby has coined a new phrase 'Home is where the cars is' ... he loves some of his Toy cars so much that three times now in the last fortnight he has uttered the words I dreaded while on a train / in a long car ride 'I want to go home' except when I ask fearfully where home is hoping he won't say London he always says 'where my cars are' - he hates having them put away for the duration of the journey !!

Men's business Kits

well hello from baking hot and dusty Coimbatore where we are hiding in our room over night before catching a train to Cochi. I say hiding in the room because this isn't a great town to visit - sorry to any residents reading this... kind of a busy industrial dusty main road type place - but a main stop on the road down from the Nilgri Hills to Kerala. Sorry for yet another blog so quickly but we have internet access in our hideout hotel - the first we've had since Baroda - so we have to make the most of it - and having read Indian Marie Claire I don't have a lot else to do! M is putting T to bed hooray!

Now back to the title - I have just found one of my favourite souvenirs from the trip - a men's business kit - sitting in our room. A little inch sq box - sitting next to the sewing kit - that sums up some gender issues in India - no?? What do you think it contained:

a) Breath freshening mouth spray and a paper napkin
b) A Condom
c) 2 elastic bands, 2 paper clips and 2 pins






For the record M went for b straight away ---- But no

it was c!

Sorry if this isn't funny in the uk but I think it's hillarious!


Right on to the update. First and foremost don't you just love foreign supermarkets. Well I do! I can spend hours in them... and I have missed them in India... not just the browsing but also the amazing convenience of one. It is very hard trying to buy things always from a small hole in the wall/ metal box with a man sitting cross legged surrounded by odd items/ dark dusty corner shop... especially when you don't speak the language and have a fussy eating child and just desperately want some choice. So joy of joys this hotel has a supermarket - like proper one - picture small local co-op but with wonderful range of products including pet grooming section and piles of spices. I splurged... so excited - even found cereal bars for toto - much needed after 5 days of south indian buffets and no pancakes/ porridge - he has been surviving on rice, the odd slice of tomato/ cucumber and toast.

Point of environmental interest... the Nilgri Hills are plastic free!! and very proud. M went shopping for fruit last night in the market and ended up with endless small bags made of newspaper (like the ones we made Emma at Grand Designs)... the tuk tuk man took pity on him and gave him a shopping bag. Plus our room tonight is filled with eco tips - very detailed telling us how much water we save if we turn off the shower - soap and then shower. Down the hills were signs telling people to plant trees to keep India green , and not to litter. There are still piles of litter in places - but much fewer than anywhere else we have been. The litter we have seen is exhausting, depressing, so sad... it's sort of built into the fabric of the country almost it seems, it's ingrained in the roads, walls, under the soil... I am astounded how few bins there are and how people just chuck it on the ground... so as you can see Nilgri hills greenliness is a big deal!

Back to the journey... we left the safari lodge on sunday morning and headed up the mountain for Ooty the main town in the nilgris - about 26 km away from my dad's town ... Described in our Lonely Planet bible as 'much like any other small Indian Town' we were not that excited... but we were really pleasantly suprised! The drive up was amazing - I think there were 36 tight bends (can't remember the word for these - hair pin??) and the little stone blocks beside the road counted them down... Tobes slept! Past waterfalls, pine forests, terraced fields and little houses perched on the terraces looking like East Slope (for any one reading this who went to Sussex Uni). Gorgeous green planting and candy coloured houses.

Ooty was dusty and fairly concrete but we decided was very similar to a continental alpine village - I think it was a combination of the landscape - sitting in a valley with the hills all around, the crisp fresh air and clear blue skies and the shops filled with knit wear etc. We found it a lovely laid back place - no hastling - much friendliness and kind smiles! Tobes insisted we took a suite at our hotel (I was going to say no when I realised it was only 2 pounds difference and meant toto had his own little section of room which he loved .... ).

M was most excited by the promise of an American diner in Ooty.... bizarre - he had Miami expectations!!! But actually it didn't disappoint that much - spotlessly clean with a pizza oven and snickers shakes - altho nothing toto could be convinced to eat...

We then pottered around with our travelling shopping list - new memory card for camera (m won't trust anywhere to down load now), knife to cut veg and fruit (my last 10p one from the mysore market broke on impact with a cucumber), and face wash. We were not disappointed as Ooty hosts a 'BIG STORE' - again M had hopes for a french hypermarket type place (not sure why he is not learning to lower these expectations) ... in reality the shop was about the size of WH Smith at Victoria Station in London - but hey it had all we needed so we were impressed...they were not impressed by Toto trying to climb the huge Ganesh elephant god statue though - very embarrassing. For girls only >>> I also managed to buy eyeliner that refreshes your eyes at the same time - amazing... from a great shop called Himalaya skincare.

We then moved onto the botanical gardens/ park which thank goodness were open - I would have cried if another Indian park would have been closed. They were lovely and Tobes rambled around playing football (until we were told it was not allowed....) rolling down the hills and being pursued by crowds of families, young men with cameras - we now really know what it is like to be a celeb - we may have to ban future photos as Tobes is getting really upset about them.

Today we drove from Ooty to Coimbature on our route to Kerala.... via the Nilgiri's highest peak - amazing misty panoramas, down the windiest roads and through gorgeous tea plantations (on a back route to avoid traffic) - dense green bushes with trees shading them at intervals... for lunch in Coonor - my Dad's town where he taught... then down a massive hill / mountain following the toy train route and spotting it at intervals (too full to get tickets), along with of course loads of cheeky monkeys.

We head off tomorrow by train to Cochi! Tonnes of love to you all again - and Happy New Year from Tamil Nadu where it is being celebrated today.

The hills are alive

A quick blog update from Kate - we are nestled in the foothills of the Nilgri hills - in tamil Nadu on the border of Kerala and Karnataka staying in a lovely homestay tucked under a rather highlandish mountain! We are here following the footsteps of my dad who taught in coonor in the 70s - haven't got there yet but have retraced his elephant riding steps!

It's been a great 3 days - living in a plywood cabin - all made of plywood - but not as tasteful as jay's art... and luckily Jay's art doesn't include mice - I found one floating in the loo this morning - dead! After hearing them dance across the ceiling all night I was less sad than I might usually be. But mice aside we've had a great time... have managed 2 longish treks into the hills - one this morning at 7.30am - stopping to give Toby jam sandwiches at 9 beside a small waterfall and ending up woobly legged on Tigers Head Rock jutting out over an incredible misty panorama. Matty has finally taken to walking and is loving it - but is on the verge of killing me if i mention the highlands again! Toby runs manically along the paths pretending to be a car - and racing me - and then stopping to spot different poos... this am we spotted elephant (booring), fresh bear poo (like 10 mins old - rather scary as these are the most dangerous animals here - not afraid of people), tiger poo (rather old and disturbingly hairy). We also spotted a buffallo carcus from a tiger kill. It is rather scary crossing the cattle grid out of the farm we are staying in and then being told not to wear white, be quiet (try telling that to toby again and again) and with only a rather small man + machete between you and the great wild! However monkeys have been our only sighting on ther treks - and they just gawp at us...

We have also taken 2 jeep safaris! The only way you can get off the main road into the park is by government run safaris in the loudest old bus imaginable - but for the bargin price of 50p each. The first day we were not suprised that we didn't spot much - a couple of peacocks (we see them at Olly and Celine's house !!) , some wild boar (hairy pigs according to Tobes) and beautiful deer. But today I persuaded M to give it another go - a little later in the day at 5ish and we were rewarded by spotting 2 wild groups of elephants including calves - amazing - wonderful after seeing all their captive cousins, and a large herd of indian bison (can't remember their name) coming to a water hole - beautiful big beasts with white knee high socks and noses, and pink ears. We are disappointed not to have see Tigers - esp as 2 other groups either side of us did see one!!!! BUT Tobes claims he saw a panther.... so there you go! And we did open the door to our home to see wild boar out in front yesterday

In the evenings we sit round a camp fire while the hosts cook amazingly spicy food which we are eating with laddles of yogurt... Tobes either beside us in the pram asleep or havin g regular checks

The other main news is that we have booked our flight home! We leave on 11th Feb from Mumbai! exactly 2 months after arriving in India and 3 months after leaving UK.

The UK seems a million miles away but we are also excited about coming back to see all our friends - TObes announced he was happy as he would see (I was expecting him to say Ahaan and Freddy ... but ) his dumper truck...!

For the record - I have not once regretted coming on this trip - even when I thought I might loose my toes to frostbite on the train from varanassi to Delhi!

Also - pls excuse the cliche - but I have realised that there is nothing as beautiful as nature and I am wondering why we spend so much money trying to make things beautiful that ultimately are destroying nature.... M will kill me for this cliche

With that I am off to sneakily eat chocolate and go to bed - its 11pm - v. late for us here.

Love to you all

Into 2008 !!

Goa

After a bit of a hectic run we had a relatively easy journey down to goa ... even the 7 hours in Mumbai airport were relatively calm as for the first time in India the airport had nice coffee shops and bookshops.

We had managed to book ... very last minute and with most things full ... a nice resort with pool and beauiful gardens not too far from a quiet beach and it worked out really well relatively cheap (for the time we were there ... most places double or triple their prices over xmas and new year) although we were shocked by how unfriendly the staff were when we turned up ! It was sooooo nice after the stress of the cities to wander down to the beach on our first night ... xmas eve... and just eat in a beach shack and chill out ... it was a world away from the north of the country. Toby ran up and down the sand in the pitch black and we instantly felt relaxed.

The beaches here are not nearly as beautiful as thailand - and it took us a while to forgive it for not being thailand... but they are lovely in a different way of course... we most enjoyed the paddy fields and sand dunes bordering them, and of course sharing beaches with cows ... I will miss the cows so much when we get back... Our first few days it was full moonm - low tide and ever afternoon thousands of star fish would get stranded on the beach much to Toby's pleasure and we spent a good hour rescuing them and jumping over crowds of hermit crabs

Xmas day felt quite weird not being with family ... especially with TJ at such a good age for xmas fun but I guess fresh fish on the beach for lunch and amazing views compensated somewhat .! We ended up staying until 4th jan due to all trains being full which turned out to be perfect for Toby as he finally got to play in the sand and make friends for the first time in a long time ... he really enjoyed hanging out with some other people we met ... we instantly felt like package tourists as we heard their tales of hardcore travelling !!!

One family had just had their 2nd child 6 weeks previously in a camper van in India ... 3 years into the travels they started when the first child was 6 months ! and one lovely family whose son Adam was amazing with Toby despite being a few years older were off for 13 months with two children 6 and 8. Ironically the dad had used to be a surveyor and they had previously lived in North Finchley and the daughter went to the same nursery Toby starts when he gets back !

Deffo worth mentioning our bizzarre budgeting at this stage !! So far our hotels have varied between 450 rupees (about 6 quid ) and 12,000 (about 150 quid) depending on how much we feel we can cope with. Unlike Thailnd - the cheaper hotels are generally not clean - Kate finds this very hard - esp with Toto. But most people we meet, who are away for any length of time are firmly at the lower end of that range and always look confused when we tell them if we are staying in at all nice places ... by which I mean hot water !!! The travelling family hadn't had hot water for 6 weeks. We stayed on night for 450 rupees which was truly awful - we spent the night lying rigid in our sheets listening out for every rustle - nearly asphixiated by mosquito coils (thanking God for Tobys Mossie prrof bed) but everywhere was booked up on the 1st of jan so we had to move out of our niceish place and back in the next day which wasn't too bad. normally we are aiming to spnd 15-25 quid a night unless there is a good reason to spend more ... like in hampi (to come) we found a really unique place.

Overall goa was our most chilled time .. plenty of cycling to and from the beach with Toto strapped to Kate's back, two days exploring by scooter, a quick trip to the portuguese towns of panji (eating in amazing winding ally ways) and old goa (old churches and the miraculously preserved body of a saint - that you can't see!) , anjuna - one of the biggest flea markets in the world ...but mostly and unashamedly beachlife. Here the style was to find a shack you liked and get to know the owners and hang out there running up a tab! Our's was called Hawaii!!!! But quickly became the beach creche - with at least 3 or 4 families spending the day there and the children running round together building castles, digging, swimming....

New Years eve we managed to stay at a party on the beach with some other families until 00:05 wacthing firedancers and fireworks and having a great buffet before ducking out.

HAMPI
Matty's fvourite place so far - Kate's second or equal favourite with Varanassi.
never heard of it?? nope neither had Matty but Hampi quickly became just about our favourite place we have ever visited ! We only decided to go there after heading south and reading about it in some guide books as it hadn't been in our plans at all but the place is truly spectacular. It is the largest world heritage site simply because it is the ruins of an entire 14th-16th century city and a huge one at that. it had been the capital of the visayanagar (hope i spelt that right from memory) empire which was vast ... and 35 sq km of the city still lies there as ruins ... and is now lived in. it is the only place I have ever been where it is so easy to imagine what it was like to live all those years ago and on top of all that the natural scenery surrounduing it is breathtaking. It is set in a huge lunar valley strewn with enormous boulders everwhere - somewhat randomply and with a river winding through it. The rocks / boulders look a bit like the nevada desert ... except for the fact there is a huge river and lush vegetation .. banana trees, sugar cane, peanuts etc. Unfortunately after too many bad experiences I am not entrusting my memory cards to internet cafes anymoer so pics will have to wait.

on top of all this we found the most unique hotel have ever been to to stay at which complemented the place so perfectly !!

Coming towards the end of our 8hr train journey (through the day) in (by the way .. our biggest fear before travelling and the thing other friends with children kept asking about had been the 12 hr flight out ... now we cant wait for a flight back with tvs, movies, drinks served etc which is all going to seem a luxury compared to our overground travels) we got a phone call from the hotel saying traffic was so bad did we mind if they picked us up at the station, took us to the river crossing and picked us up again at the other side .. I was dubious about getting on and off small boats with 5 bags and a pram but hey ho !!!

when we got to the river we were met by a small coracle .. a round boat made of bamboo and lined with what looked like potato sacks and although I was concerned about it carrying all of our stuff .. the guy behind us who put his motorbike straight in seemed to think it was fine !!!

( http://www.hampi.in/sites/Coracle_Crossings.htm )

it was a thriling way to cross - altho I'm not sure they are the most efficient way for crossing as the work a little like those giant tea cups you get in fair grounds, swirling one way and the next - we think better for going down a river rather than across. But a wonderful way to arrive.

We then drove up through for 30 mins through a mixture of moonscape - arid desert covered in huge boulders and paddy fields, down a dusty track past people planting rice fields and chasing monkeys away, to our hotel .. I can't do it justice without a camera but have stolen some dodgy picks from another familys website

http://www.tripadvisor.com/LocationPhotos-g319725-d427549-Hampi_s_Boulders-Hampi_Karnataka.html#17429383

We had an isolated bungalow built out of a boulder.. (the shower a bit of a boulder jutting into it) none of the rooms could see each other with a great rooftop .. although the monkeys eyeing you up from the adjoining bolders were slightly disconcerting ! The monkeys also liked to throw fruit at us as we walked to the room down the sandy path.

There was a pool which was just a huge hole cut in the ground in the middle of the rocks overlooking the most stunning landscape and there was no tv or phone or internet as it was intended to be completely cut off !! the owner doesn't even have a website, advertise, signpost the place or allow it in guidebooks as he wants to survive on word of mouth alone !

He definitely has our reccomendation. We ate in a semi open hut from a mixture of south indian food - no choice - just buffet - but delicious currys and pudding! We love gulab jamon. One evening he offered to take us bird watching by the river to see the migrating birds from Russia, N India arriving - cranes, kingfishers etc. Another evenign we had a huge bonfire and sat drinking beer (well Kate did) watching the stunning stars in the sky and being served bbq-ed . They took us on a walk throught the boulders over the river on wooden bridges, showing us how to climb the boulders and look over the whole panorama! After Tobes was in bed we sat on top of our boulder in pitch black - looking at the stars - it is amazing how many you can see in true darkness.

The landscape where we were staying was completely breathtaking - a bit like walking through a world designed by Henry Moore... the boulders people believe were formed by volcanic activity under the sea 3 billion years ago and then slowly eroded into beautiful carved shapes and gigantic stones .... or you can go for the Indian traditional story that monkeys were playing and left them there!! Toby likes the second version best!

he also arranged lunch for us at the most stunning and delicious restaurant .. the mango tree .. overlooking the river as Hampi itself was about half hour by car and boat from the hotel so you woldn't want to go back !! the restaurant was reached through banana trees down a dirt track but looked out over the banks of the tundabhadra river where you could see cows and goats roaming and people bathing and there was a huge swing and beds to relax on. I know I am sounding enthusiatic but this whole place definitely won me over !!!

We ewxplored Hampi for 2 days - 1 with a lovely guide. The first day without was my favourite though as we just [pottered around the temples, old market places, cave houses... In the first temple Lakshmi the temple elephant kissed toby's head (much to his shock) - in return for 1 rupee! Toby also saw yet more beggers - many here are crippled by Polio - he keeps askign where are that mans hands, can we help that man's legs, why is that man like a cat - it is hard.

Then we climbed up the stones above the city - to see giant statues of Ganesha carved out of one boulder... on to the old market place - aisles of old shop places with stone walkways and a beautiful stone pool in the middle for pilgrims to bathe in before visiting the nextdoor temple... Matty sat completely entranced here for about an hour as toby ran down the stone corridors and was photo-ed of course by some artists working nearby. Wild mint was growing out of the stones much to Toby's joy - he kept picking it and sniffing it delightedly. Then we climbed up again knocking on an old doorway and discoved an old house (we think) build under two 6 metre high boulders! After this we stupidly walked (in the midday heat) to the Royal Enclosure - an incredible place complete with 11 nearly complete elephant stables where the royal elephants were kept - their mahuts (keepers) had much smaller less impressive homes nearby!)

Sadly the tragedy of this visit is that Tobes favourite Toy - Ahaan's taxi - was finally lost here! Ahaan gave toby a mumbai taxi before he left the UK and it has been loved hard through our trip - it wasn't looking great -having been buried in sand, sat on, lost in the sea then found, crashed into ruins, sailed upon banana leaves, it had lost it's driver and roof rack but we loved it and the whole family was sad ... although a good place to go - the holiest temple in Hampi - we hope some other little boy/ monkey has found it and will take over loving it!

We could really have stayed longer but it was an expensive place so we got the overnight train to Bangalore but had heard so many bad reports of the city that we didn't stop and just hopped on another train straight to Mysore ... without really knowing why again other than it seemes popular on the travel route !!

Mysore

Ok .. if we get outof here without buying a flute it will be an incredible achievement ! we are beseeched at evry corner by men playing .. oddly enough .. the Titanic theme tune to us! They all play the same tune as well and don't take no for an answer.

Today i was busy ignoring one when Toby turned around ran after him and anoounces "we don't have any room in our bags " .. it's amazing what he picks up.

Not knowing what to expect we pitched up at our hotel to be pleasantly surprised by the quality for about a tenner - extremely clean and central. The city itself is the cleanest, greenest place we have stayed in India and has a nice feel to it. The first afternoon we wandered to the fruit and veg market which was actually .. by Indian standards, really relaxed. We even got given free carrots as someone took pity on Tobys red face and thought he looked too hot ! The first time in India someone wouldn't take money off us ! The market was amazing full of stalls piled high with brightly coloured paint, stalls with artistic arrangements of mini/ baby vegetables, huge corridors of bananas, utensils stalls (Kate having to restrain herself due to packing restrictions), insence, oils, shops full of row upon row of dazzling bright sparkling bangles...

We got deluged in oils as Mysore is famous for its scents and even got conned into buying two 'pure oil bottles' for 1 pound each - but we didnt mind. The phrase 'sensory overload' is probably overused but the maret rally felt like that .. people screaming, huge mountains of brightly coloured powdered paints, oild and incense burning from every other shop and amazing fresh fruit. The only disappointment here in Mysore ... and oh so typical of our Indian experience .. was the amazing playground we saw which Toby got really excited about which only opens after 7pm....!!

Then the palace of course - to be honest I think after Hampi we might be a little palaced/ templed out! For the first hour we just rested in there basically ignoring it!! Then tobes discovered some marching elephants and then we ventured inside... it is a gorgeous place but I (kate now writing) did find the fact that the amazing peacock stained glasses were made in glasgow a little bit disappoingint. In fact the whole thing of course was designed by a british architect... in Indian style.

Today we head off to stay in a wildlife park for a few days befor onto a spice plantation , up to a hill station and down into Kerala. From there on to Ooty and possible Coonor where Kate's Dad worked as a teacher in the 70s, then down to Kochi in Kerala. Our next base says they have email but we are not totally convinved as it is quite remote.. so you may not hear from us for a few days!


Tonnes of love to you all - happy new year again - happy Bday Helen and Craig - and Kate - hope Bumps are doing well Laura and helen.

big kisses

xxxxxx